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Selfish

from Broken Pieces by Upgrade

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lyrics

while im straining my neck, I complain im depressed
as I lay in my bed, contemplating my death
I keep blaming the stress on the decaying of strength
they inflated my head, like”you can make it I bet”
it aint raising my spirits , I keep raising my meds
if im raising my spirits its whiskey staining my breath
place im paying for rent, is that of ancient decent
the water full of rust and mice are playing in vents
but its a place I can rest, shit, some food on my plate
look in the mirror shut the fuck up all you do is complain
if you wanna be a movement start pursuing the change
instead of glooming over losing go and rule in the game
you expect forgiveness just because your mental illness
you’ll keep coming up short like having sex with midgets
you extend the vicious cycle to the hell your living
kept your distance from succeeding due to health conditions

so much fucked up shit in the world, and im out here stressing a girl?
theres a war going on in my mind, but a much bigger war outside
im selfish, I know
im selfish….so?

a hopeless romantic who’s known to go panic
when feelings would overflow, he’d overdose xanax
acting so stranded with cold hearts he’s handed
depression gone manic when love lost and vanish
feast or famine , so weak, believes in marriage
but can barely hold relations for weeks before its damage
soaked in self loathing broken and kept coping
with bottled insecurities shelved for his next showing
but fuck that, go and grow some hair on your nut sack
you were tonging women more than leaf on a blunt wrap
now you been heart broke and suddenly lost hope
downing endless liquor double fisting til bar closed
go piss with the seat down while passing on rebounds
guess the random hook ups aren’t all what they seem now
go and join the party of the love and the lost
while you second guess the randoms when you fucking them raw


still complaining on sales and feel your train has derailed
spending more than youre making and still afraid you can fail
you just run around in circles while youre chasing your tail
even tho you quit smoking feel youre taking an L
if you listen to the haters than you made ‘em prevail
had you blinded by their words like you tracing on brail
almost choking on stage until your face turning pale
til you started rocking stadiums and making them yell
now the labels showing interest while you buzzing online
and the kids’ll play your music during troubling times
cause you never left the feeling of that hunger inside
and instead of giving up you told your mother you tried
headliners getting nervous of the opening act
all the ones who used to hate are hoping homie collabs
I have chosen this path. found the gold imma stash
til im soaking in gas burned by strokes of the match

credits

from Broken Pieces, released April 12, 2019

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